C.C. Sabathia, star pitcher for the New York Yankees, has slimmed down over his winter break. Reportedly, he lost about 25 pounds. Good for him. But c'mon, did he honestly needed a nutritionist to tell him that eating a whole box of Cap'n Crunch in one sitting was not the way to stay trim? Silly rich person, you don't need a nutritionist to figure this stuff out!
Let's say C.C. was chowing down on the 15 oz. box of plain Cap'n (not peanut butter, not Crunchberry--though I bet it was Crunchberry). And hell, let's say he managed to do that without any milk--though, I'm almost convinced he probably would've used heavy cream. Well, there is about 1,635 calories in that 15 oz. box. You need to take in 3,500 fewer calories to lose one pound of body weight. Geez, man, just abstain from scarfing down two entire boxes of the Cap'n, and you're already down a pound, C.C.!
(Also, I wonder how the Gatorade folks feel about him cutting out sports drinks.)
Every time I watch some weight loss show or something, I hear what they've been eating and think, "Christ, I wish I had three McDonald's breakfasts every day! Because then I could just STOP and lose ten pounds! Fuck!"
ReplyDelete"Why are you hitting your head against the wall?" "Because it feels so good when I stop." My favorite line in the article is about him "noticing a big difference" after cutting all that crap out.
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