So there is this guy who has managed to eat 25,000 Big Macs in his life(with the proof to back it up, apparently--right, 'cause when he first ever ate a Big Mac he kept the packaging?). I don't get why this is a big achievement that the world needs recorded and splashed all over the media (ok, so the digital age tends to inflate the marketability of just any story).
He was covered in the documentary Supersize Me. Wasn't that enough? Does anyone care that this dude eats the same thing all the time? NO. I tend to do the same thing, too. I am a habitual eater. Lately, I've been stuck on pretzels. Basically all I've been eating, really. No one cares. Not me, not you, not Rold Gold, no one.
Ahh, so it is springtime and there is an unfortunate amount of wedding-themed comedies coming to theaters. Entertainment Web sites think it is funny how all these kinds of movies seem to use the same lame jokes and plot points. NY Mag's Vulture thinks so, as does TV Without Pity. I think its funny that more than one Web site is running articles about this. Maybe coming up with an original idea isn't as easy as people think.
Oh, Mila Kunis. How unfortunate that you played Natalie Portman's understudy in Black Swan, the film that won Portman an Oscar. Why? Because the fates of release dates have you follow that performance up with you headlining a film--Friends With Benefits--that is more or less the spitting image of No Strings Attached. The latter is a lame film Portman starred in with Ashton Kutcher and which sat on a studio shelf for a while, but was finally released once the Academy started buzzing about her as a psychotic ballerina.
Yeah, poor, poor Mila Kunis. So pretty, so thin, so talented, so always in second place.
Time Warner is now using Plastic Bertrand's geniusly catchy and fun song "Ca Plan Pour Moi" in a TV commercial. I thought that was odd, 'cause, yeah the song is AMAZING but it's sung completely in French. Also, I know that Elton Motello took the music and rewrote the lyrics for "Jet Boy Jet Girl" which is a very dirty homoerotic song, which I also love--how could I not with lyrics like "Jet Boy, I'm gonna make you penetrate, I'm gonna make you be a girl, ooooooo-eeeeee-ooooooo, he gives me head".
But then, seeing the French song in this commercial (which hasn't made it to YouTube, thankfully) , I wondered what the French version was actually saying. It's not terribly dirty, but is wonderfully fun and surreal and punk rock. Hell, it starts with a cat (named Splash, no less!) panting because it's drunk on whisky. Wooo-hooo. I don't think Time Warner knows this, nor does it care. But here you go people, the best English equivalent (apparently it is super colloquial/slangy -- duh -- so it was tough for the translator):
Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky.
As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter
where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in four colours
Allez-oop! One morning
a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
a plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
like an Indian in his igloo
This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This work for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas!
what a vibration!
to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled
You are the King of the divan!
she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I am the King of the divan
This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
Allez-oop! Don't mind, don't worry
Don't affect me
It’s not today
that the sky will fall on my head
and I'll be without glue
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me
Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
like a complete jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I've put my foot in it
This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
This workss for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
I know that settling out of court is not "legally" the same as admitting guilt, but let's be honest: it is in the public mind, isn't it?
First off, I missed this when it was first news. Secondly, I am intrigued by the fact that the woman pushed David Boreanaz away in one instance, and he then jerked off all the way until ejaculation in her witness. Why didn't she just leave? That doesn't make it right, if he did this, I'm just wondering about where her head was.
